Renowned child psychologist and author Dr. Becky Kennedy joined the Marin Horizon School community for a memorable evening at the Sweetwater Music Hall.
The event was attended by over 200 guests and featured a cocktail hour and Q&A for VIP guests, followed by an hour-long conversation with Dr. Becky on the main stage. Marin Horizon parent and founder of Offline Ventures Brit Morin served as the evening’s host, with both prepared and crowd-sourced questions.
An Enormous “Thank You” to Dr. Becky and Our Marin Horizon Community Association
We’re thankful to Dr. Becky and Brit Morin for bringing us a fun and informative evening, with actionable ideas we can use to help our kids build resilience.
We’re grateful to Marin Horizon’s incredible Community Association, led by parents Kristin Lunny, who organized and staffed the event. A special shout out to parent volunteer Mariell Danziger who put many hours into making this event a success.
On stage, during her introductory remarks, Kristin quipped, “This is the hottest ticket in town.” In fact, tickets were sold out for this event within just days. From the very hip venue and special touches to the timely advice from Dr. Becky, our Community Association outdid themselves.
Highlights from Our Interview with Dr. Becky
“Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. It is also the most impactful,” said Dr. Becky.
During the wide-ranging and lively conversation with Brit, Dr. Becky touched on a number of key parent challenges, including how to talk to our kids when they come to us with strong emotions – frustration, sadness, anger, or jealousy.
Often we try to solve things by dismissing our child’s feelings or distracting from the problem, which can make kids less resilient and less trustful of us. Dr. Becky describes resilience as “being able to cope with the widest set of feelings possible.” So, how do we build that resilience? What can we parents say to support our child while validating their emotions?
Dr. Becky introduced the concept of sitting together with our child on a “feelings bench.” Sitting on the bench is the opposite of fixing or denying; it's the essence of resilience building.
So when your child comes to you and is disappointed, angry, or embarrassed, Dr. Becky suggests sitting down with your child and saying these three things:
First, “I’m so glad you’re sharing that with me.” This sends a message to your child: “The part of you going through this, I still like that part. I still like you, even if you’re not a good reader, or didn’t make the basketball team.”
Second, “I believe you.” This sends the message: “The feelings you feel are actually real.” If confidence is self trust, this message builds self trust.
Third, “Tell me more.”
And that’s it. We don’t need to solve all of our child’s problems. According to Dr. Becky, “Feelings are never the thing that overwhelms us. Feeling alone in our feelings is always the thing that overwhelms us.” When you sit down with your child and ask these questions, you are removing the alone-ness. Your child is seeking a connection with you, and they are looking to be believed. That is all they are looking for.
About Dr. Becky Kennedy
Dr. Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and mom of three, named “The Millennial Parenting Whisperer” by TIME Magazine, who’s rethinking how we raise our children. As Founder and CEO of Good Inside, a parenting and relationship-focused content and community company, she specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and changing how parents see and solve everyday challenges in their homes.
About Marin Horizon School
Marin Horizon School is an independent, coed day school for students in Toddler through Grade 8. Located at the foot of majestic Mount Tamalpais in Mill Valley, California, Marin Horizon grounds students in a deep sense of belonging so they become enthusiastic learners, develop confident voices, and emerge as beacons of kindness in their communities.